Pictures - Katie Melua

I tolerate Katie Melua. Mainly because young Dave is quite keen on her and whilst she's hardly at the cutting edge of musical invention, she's a pleasant enough girl with a decent voice. If that seems like I'm damning her with faint praise, you might be right.

But it's not her fault. I can attest to that 100%. It's all Mike "Fucking" Batt's fault. The guy is a grade A knob-head. I went to a Katie Melua concert once, but half of it was taken up with his unfunny anecdotes and stories. Yes Mike, we know you wrote the bloody Wombles song.

And he writes all her lyrics.

So we get gems like "Douglas Fairbanks wore a moustache, must have had "much cash" too". And thus, less than 30 seconds in to this album we have already reached a low point from which there is no hope of return.

Simply put, the melodies are lilting enough to woo the Radio 2 crowd but anyone who takes more than a cursory glance at the lyrics is going to be in pain for days. There is quite literally nothing on this album that I'll be listening to ever again.

Single Releases 24/09/07

I can't find my usual list of singles, so this might be a short one.

That new Katie Melua one, If I Were A Sailboat, is a bit saucy for her isn't it? It's crap of course, but you have to give a modicum of respect where it's due.

It's miles better than Shayne Ward's new one mind you. But then he is useless, so really you don't expect anything from him do you?

Spooky by the Puppini Sisters is ok. Maybe the joke is wearing thin now though. Enjoy it whilst it lasts Sisters.

Annie Lennox really does annoy me. But then I have a thing against rock/pop stars telling me how I should lead my life, so it's nothing that personal love.

I was surprised to see the Stereophonics are still plugging away...ok I kid. I know they're successful, I just don't see why they are! It Means Nothing is another in that long of line of Stereophonics songs that are alright but don't exactly rock my world.

The problem with Duke Special and Ed Harcourt is that I don't think they're as quite as good as a lot of people tell me. Thus it is the same with their new singles. Good, but not great.

Colbie Caillat's Bubbly hits the singles market this week. It's nice and pleasant but nothing that will be staying with you for that long.