Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Established 1967 - Radio 1

Well this should be funny; I shall go through this one track by track, not least because it gives me ample opportunity to take the piss out of some of my "favourite" artists. And by "favourite" I mean "least favourite".

DISC ONE

1. Flowers In The Rain - Kaiser Chiefs
In a word, dreadful. It's like a really really bad Kaiser Chiefs song, and lord knows that their best ones can get tiresome.

2. All Along The Watchtower - Fratellis
Well this one is going well isn't it. I really really do hate the Fratellis, so this isn't really going to be the most unbiased of verdicts. But really there is something laughable about them even attempting this song and the end result isn't any more pleasurable than you'd expect. But, as its a better song that any of their own twaddle, this is better than anything else they've ever done.

3. Cupid - Amy Winehouse
Hmm. Passable is the best I can get for this one. A bit too close to what you'd expect from her to really get any better than that.

4. Lola - Robbie Williams
All the invention of making the cover version sound as much like the original as you can. That said, Robbie always has a certain charm which makes this one of the better ones.

5. Your Song - The Streets
Is Mike Skinner taking the piss? If this is tongue in cheek then it may well be the greatest thing ever put on record. If he was being serious, then god help us all. But in all honesty if you can get past the first part, in which his "vocals" are beyond piss-poor, it actually builds up quite a crescendo.

6. Betcha By Golly Wow - Sugababes
Out of all the up-tempo catchy tunes they could have done from the past 40 years, they do this, which is very very dull. It's one of those "oh, but look, they can really sing" songs that they do every, oh, three months. And the world is none the better for them doing it.

7. You're So Vain - Feeling
The Feeling may be naff, in a good "Supertramp" way, but this is a step too far even for me. I'm not sure "camp" was what they were aiming for with this one, but it just doesn't suit the singers voice. A valiant effort I suppose.

8. Band On The Run - Foo Fighters
Manages to combine the dullness of their acoustic phase with the head-banging side of their repertoire. I'm already beginning to lose the will to live if I'm being honest.

9. Love Is The Drug - Kylie Minogue
Against all the odds I like this. It's Kylie doing what she does best.

10. Let's Stick Together - KT Tunstall
If KT never did another good song ever, I'd love her for this alone. I've a feeling that the best ones on this whole shebang are going to be the ones where people aren't taking the damn thing too seriously.

11. Sound And Vision - Franz Ferdinand
Very disappointing.

12. Teenage Kicks - Raconteurs
Pointless. But then again, the Raconteurs are pretty pointless when all is said and done.

13. Can't Stand Losing You - Mika & Armand Van Helden
The second good Mika song in existence? Jesus Christ, this week has been tough on me.

14. Too Much Too Young - Kasabian
A "cover version by numbers" if ever there was one. But then again I hate Kasabian so what do I know?

15. Under Pressure - Keane
If ever a cover version should be wronger than wrong, this is it. But remarkably this is very, very brilliant.

16. Town Called Malice - McFly
Oh, look, just like when we did that Who song, we like proper music you know. In other words a totally perfunctory cover version that will enrich your life not a jot.

17. Come Back And Stay - James Morrison
I'll whisper it quietly, but I quite like this one....

18. Careless Whisper - Gossip
I'm sure somebody somewhere though this was "arch" and "hip" in an ironic way. All it is is absolute tosh.

19. Power Of Love - Pigeon Detectives
I was so happy when this was the Huey Lewis song and not the Frankie Goes To Hollywood one. They don't do it justice mind you, but then surely their attempt at the Frankie song would have been 100 times worse.

20. Don't Get Me Wrong - Lily Allen
Another one of those by the numbers covers. But my dad likes it.

DISC TWO

1. You Sexy Thing - Stereophonics
Every bit as fucking terrible as you would expect. I'm sorry, I do try to keep the language on this site at PG level, with the occasional trip into 12A, but this deserves the use of the f-bomb. How am I ever supposed to remember with a fondness the time Dawn wrote the lyrics to this on my laptop screensaver? Hell, at least she didn't find my porn.

2. Fast Car - Mutya Buena
As if to reinforce the notion that she hasn't an original idea in her head, Mutya delivers this, very blandly.

3. Lullaby - Editors
The singer's voice really annoys me, more than ever in this song, but it's a pretty decent stab at the Cure classic.

4. Englishman In New York - Razorlight
Does life get any better than this? I'll say no more as I don't really feel the need to unleash any more f-bombs. Safe to say, I sincerely wish that Johnny Borrell was an Englishman In New York, or possibly even somewhere further away that that.

5. Crazy For You - Groove Armada
One of those songs that seems to be going nowhere but has a kind of hypnotic beauty. I like it.

6. It Must Be Love - Paolo Nutini
An absolute travesty. And to top it off it sounds like its UB40 doing it.

7. All That She Wants - The Kooks
Ok, so I'll probably never like The Kooks, but this is pretty damn good. It's a great song anyway, and they've tried something different with it. Thumbs up.

8. You're All I Need To Get By - Mark Ronson
As he does nothing else but covers it's a bit pointless having the Ronson on here. But maybe Nigella Express needed another song for background music. Not as good as anything off his album. Apart from that Kasabian one. But that doesn't count as everyone knows they are rubbish.

9. Stillness In Time - Calvin Harris
I love Calvin Harris and this is a funky 80's style beat-bomb. Or something.

10. No Diggity - Klaxons
Yes, another example of how great the Klaxons are. Yes, that was sarcasm.

11. Lovefool - Just Jack
I didn't think anything could make me hate Just Jack any more than I already do. Patiently, I was wrong.

12. Ray Of Light - Bedingfield, Natasha
Great vocal performance doesn't save this being very annoying.

13. Drinking In LA - The Twang
Just when you thought The Twang couldn't get any worse, they prove you incorrect.

14. Great Beyond - Fray
If I never hear another Fray song, it will still be far too soon.

15. Teenage Dirtbag - Girls Aloud
This is also pretty rubbish; they could at least have done their version of Rehab or something.

16. Like I Love You - Maximo Park
Very, very funny.

17. Don't Look Back Into The Sun - The View
Oh, the irony. I do with The View would disappear from, erm, view.

18. Toxic - Hard-Fi
Well it's comfortably the best thing they've ever done.

19. Father And Son - The Enemy
Hmm. Another bad one.

20. Steady As She Goes - Corinne Bailey Rae
She used to be in a punk band you know. And it's pretty easy to see why that didn't work out.

Overall this is for curiosity value only. There's very little I'd have any great desire to listen to ever again.

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