Sunday, June 19, 2005


Yes, I am the kind of sad person who thinks a discussion of this nature IS a worthwhile way of allocating my time! So here it is, all the videos, from "worst" to best, and with a "Most Valuable Girl" (an MVG) award for each one too! :D

8) Sound Of The Underground
Look, I'll come clean. I don't really like this song. And I don't really like the video all that much. To be honest if, on the basis of this ONE song, they'd done what is known in the trade as a "One True Voice" I don't think I'd have missed them. I mean really, they don't look half as nice in this as they do these days do they? MVG: Nadine. It's the legs.
7) Life Got Cold
This always reminds me of that Oasis one where they are on the bus. Not that other than the bus thing there is any correlation between the two video's, but come on, you love these little pointless nuggets of my train of thoughts don't you? This is an alright song, and an alright video, but nothing special. MVG: Sarah. For reasons I probably best not go into...
6) Love Machine
Now here is where it gets bloody stupid. This is a book of the dick video, as are all from hereon in, but hey, if you are going to rank the videos you have to make some tough decisions. And here it's just some small imperfections that knock this out of the top 5. Why on earth would Cheryl even be interested in that Double Bass player who looks as if he is in his 40's? And I'm sorry if you find her entry into the World Gurning Championships appealing, but I think she just looks stupid. Plus look at her orange tan!!! Needless to say I don't think this is Ms Tweedy's finest hour. MVG: Kimberly. That pink dress leaves little to the imagination, but crucially it leaves just enough to the imagination!
5) I'll Stand By You
Another song I'm not overly keen on, but there is no denying the charms of the video. I shan't repeat Gee's thoughts about the sand getting everywhere on here...Still I don't see why they are on a "beach" for this one, but then again, these things don't have to make sense do they? MVG: Cheryl. Oh you know why... :D
4) No Good Advice
Now this is where the love affair started. This is just a cracking song and the Spice Force Five parrallels simply cannot be ignored. Although funnily enough, the Girls look better in the two videos above, but there is just something about this one that I love. MVG: Nadine. I love the fact that she is just so bad at doing the dance moves.
3) Jump
I am of course referring to the video sans Monseuir Grant. This is a fun track with a suitable fun video, and it of course has the most blatant lesbian come-on bits in a mainstream pop video ever. You know the bits I mean fellas, although the mere fact that the five of them are prancing about on a bed is sign enough of what I'm going on about. MVG: Bloody hell, this is a tough one. Nadine in the backless schizz...Tweedy's C.A.T. on display...Kimberly looking hot as fook in that Harley Davidson top thing...Sarah and Nicola looking like they're from some lesbian track meet team...ooh, what to decide. Well, i shall plump for Kimberly.
2) Wake Me Up
Ha ha. Oh my god, what a video this is. Superb. Girls on Motorbikes...what an idea that was. There is something quite sexual about that idea isn't there? MVG: You know what I am going to say here don't you...come on, you can't really expect me to look past Nadine's "glad to see that you're still sugar" booby shake can you? Throw in the Asda price ass slapping and there is no contest here.
1) The Show
Well there had to be a winner, and this is it. Truth be told, after the first album, whilst I liked Girls Aloud, it wasn't an obsession, but this funky "comeback" single was just one of the finest slices of 21st Century pop I'd ever heard, and just like that I was in love. And then i saw the bloody video and I was in Boon-heaven!!! This is funny, sassy, funky...well lets just say it is absolutley bloody brilliant and be done with it! MVG: Geesus, what to decide here. Cheryl is at her finest here and you have to love Sarah's laughing at the end, but as depressingly predicatable as it may be to you, I shall have to plump for Nadine again. It's the cherry thing really...:D

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