Back To Basics - Christina Aguilera

You all know about my past history with Ms Aguilera but you also know that I am not one to bear grudges (although lady, its never too later to return my £4.50).

But you see even without that, I would have nothing but contempt for this effort. And this all boils down to two tracks on this album that are amongst the most trite, obnoxious and, frankly, idiotic things EVER put to music. That they open and close disc one just compounds the lunacy.

The Back To Basics intro tune wouldn't be that bad as things go if it didn't claim that jazz and blues greats (we're talking the likes of Aretha Franklin and Billie Holiday here I think) "paved the way" for the good woman herself. Namecheck them if you like Christina, but getting your producers to aim for the "vintage" soul and jazz sound doesn't make you in any way remotely in the same bracket as genuine talents like that. I'm sure they'd all be happy to thing they'd strived so hard to create a legacy for the likes of you Christina.

Of course this effort is practically the best thing ever conmpared to the absolutely abysmal Thank You (Dedication to Fans...). It's a mawkish idea at best, but if the track really was about thanking the fans then she might have got away with it. But it's nothing to do with thanking the fans at all and in fact may well be the most egotistical song ever laid down. Because whilst Christina does thank us for sticking by her the record is dominated by, presumably genuine, "answerphone messages" left for her by her fans. And these aren't of the "thanks for making great music" kind but more of the "i was going to commit suicide until I heard your music", "your music gives me the confidence in life that I was previously lacking" and "you're the greatest thing ever Christina and we all love you" kind. Why anyone who wasn't one of the people in question leaving a message would ever have any desire to listen to this track again is beyond me.

Now don't get me wrong, narcissism is abundant in pop music, but rarely does it reach this level. It's unrelenting. And really it gets so bad that I can't really face listening to the album again at all.

Disc 1, the "jazz" one, is low on ideas. In fact the one idea seems to be "lets sound a bit jazzy". Which is fine on the single Ain't No Other Man, but begins to grate as you listen over a whole CD.

Disc 2, the "Linda Perry" one isn't as bad. But it suffers because nothing on this disc grabs you like certain tracks on Stripped did.

So really, if there is one album you steer clear of this year, make it this one. I haven't reviewed an album this year which has left me feeling as cold as this one does. My feeling prior to the release was that, as per usual with a double disc set, you'd probably be able to burn one quite good album from the two discs and forget about the filler. It turns out, you're barely able to burn a decent CD single from it.